Family is not about the blood……

This is going to be more of a rant than a real blog post, only because I haven’t blogged in a long time and with all that I have going on right now, I feel I deserve another rant.

It all started with me want to join the American Legion, nothing more and nothing less.  I didn’t ask for money or a car or a house or anything of real value.  I asked for someone’s DD2 number so that I could join the Legion.  I probably should have gone to the source, but it was getting late, I was tired and I thought reaching out to someone who calls me Sis, would have been just as easy as typing an email to someone who only uses email.

What I got in return was an earful of complete fucking nonsense.  She, the sister is tired of people asking him for things.  There was more to it, but this is the line that struck a nerve with me.  Let me break it down for the people that don’t know anything about my biological father.  My father left when I was 2 (give or take) and was NOT there for me or my mom.  He did not pay his child support and he did not help raise me.  I went 20+ fucking years not knowing who my biological father was.  Did he ever try to locate me…NOPE.  So I took the bull by the horns and I did all the work.  I spent countless hours at the library using PHONE BOOKS, yes people, this was before the internet and I had to use phone books to try and find him.  My mom made some phone calls to different people that might know where he was and it seems all we got was the runaround.  We did hear that he had had a son and that was all we could find out.  Seems that he didn’t want to be found, so I stopped looking.  This was when I was about 13 or 14 years old.

Fast forward to when I was about 21 years old and I figured I would give it another try.  I was lucky enough to have a friend who worked for a PI and all I had to give her was his name and birth-date and she was able to find him.  You know what they say, where there is a will there is a way.

We had a few phone calls and I even flew out there to spend some time with him.  None of that really matters, what matters is that with social media, I should NOT be the bad guy for not having time to sit down and chitty chat on the phone about the last 40+ years of my life.  I am NOT a phone person and it just isn’t going to happen.  It won’t happen for anyone, sorry.

DO NOT sit here and tell me that you are mad because you are tired of people (me) asking for something.  I beg your pardon, that man did NOTHING for me.  He wasn’t there when I broke my leg, he wasn’t there when I cut my head open, he wasn’t there to teach me how to drive, he wasn’t there for my first broken heart…..HE JUST WASN’T THERE and for anyone to make that statement……

What I should have done was, I should have asked for the $900 in child support that was owed.  I could have be a complete dick and sued him for that, but I didn’t.

Might I suggest that you sit back and consider how things were and are for others compared to how they were and are for you, before making comments about me just asking for things.

My first night as a bachelorette

Up until last night, May 23, 2017, I have never really lived alone.  I have been “on my own” since getting married, but I have never lived ALONE.

It was exciting and a little scary all at once.  I stayed up later than I should have, I guess because 1) I did not have anyone telling me to turn off the light and go to sleep and 2) I was slightly nervous to fall asleep on my own.

I did have a couple glasses of wine before convincing myself it was time to women up and go the fuck to sleep.

I left the little light on the stove top on, turned off the rest and climbed in to bed, with the fur baby.  I did toss and turn for a while, mostly because I was sleeping on an air mattress and also because the fur baby was hearing new sounds which prompted her to get up and bark, at nothing.  I have to admit, I was a little freaked out and nervous, but I know that my doors and windows were secure and I am the only one with a key to my house.  Besides my mom.

It was a rough first night and we didn’t get much sleep but I know it will only get better.

Here is to single living.


The unknown bus bench man – part 2

Walking down La Palma this morning and I go to turn to the right down Miller Street and I see someone laying down on the bus bench that once was abandoned by the mystery man.

Low and behold it was him.  he was laying down and had on different clothes but I recognized the backpack.  I felt relieved that he was back and reunited with his flannel and his small blanket, but now I wonder, what can I do to help him?  I am sure my family and friends would tell me not to get involved but I feel like there is something I can do to help, even if just to pack up a sack lunch for him.


bus bench man

The unknown bus bench man

I am a people watcher, sometimes I catch myself staring but it is only because I can sometimes get enthralled with watching someone.  People are interesting to me, I like to try and come up with their “story” and what they are all about.

The bus stop in this picture is in Anaheim and I pass it twice a day while walking to and from the train station.  One morning the other week, as I was walking to the office, I noticed a man sitting on the bench.  I couldn’t really tell his age, not that it matters, but I would have guessed late 20’s early 30’s.  He was sitting and hunched over with his arms crossed in the front so I saw his profile, his back and this hands (from being crossed).  His hands seems to be kind of clenched, the looked unwashed and his nails needed some attention;  and I immediately wondered if maybe he was coming down from a high or needed to find his next high and maybe it had been a while and maybe we was unwillingly going through a detox.  I know this is a lot to assume about someone you don’t know and have lonely seen once, but sometimes you can just tell that someone is caught up in drugs and it is ruining their lives. I assumed that he was without a home and this was just because he had a backpack that seemed like it had seen better days, a flannel shirt and a small’ish blanket with him and so I just assumed that he didn’t have a home to go home to.  He was on my mind all day.  I even thought that maybe I could get him hooked up with a new backpack since his was falling apart.

At the end of my work day, I grabbed my stuff and prepared for my daily walk back to the train station to make my way home.  I came to the corner where the bus bench is and I noticed that his flannel shirt and his blanket were there and are still there as of today, almost 2 weeks later, but he and his backpack are gone.  For me and my wandering mind, this is was a lot to handle.  Did he get picked up and taken to jail, or worse did he get rushed to the hospital…what happened to him?  I am worried about and just hope that he is ok and maybe getting some help.  I am sure that people will think I am lame, but I seriously think about him every day and pray that things will get better for him and this has made me stop and think, “what can I do to help others?” and by that I mean the less fortunate.



Maxi Skirts

#Maxiskirts.  Love them, hate them???  What’s your personal opinion?  When I broke my ankle and was scooting around, I bought them in all colors and lengths.  They were comfortable, they were easy to wear during the summer, easy to match with tanks and shirts.  They were just easy.

A year has gone by and I still have all of them and figure they will make a great work companion for the days when it is warm and I don’t want to wear jeans.  I put on a black one this morning, the knee length black one, threw on a shirt and went on my merry way.

What I am noticing with these is that the top of the skirts are like traditional #yoga pants and it rolls down.  Is this to be cute, functional?  Why exactly does it roll down?  What I find is that the roll down part doesn’t always stay rolled down, when it is rolled down it is uneven and sometimes it just doesn’t stay rolled down.  Are there maxi type skirts that don’t have this roll down feature?  I don’t expect to be showing off my mid-section, so if it for looks, I just don’t need it.  Maybe a similar style skirt that is just elastic?

I love the comfort, the fit and the options in colors and lengths, but I just don’t know how to deal with the roll down part at the top of the skirt.

The Problem with Juicing and Juice Fasts

There’s no shortage of diet fads out there for losing weight quickly. Juicing and juice fasting is one that has been around for a while—its premise being to consume fresh-squeezed juice from fruits and vegetables daily or exclusively for a day or up to 10 days or more.

However, a recent study in the British Medical Journal found that people who consumed fruit in the form of juices (more than three glasses of fruit juice a week) actually increased their risk of developing type 2 diabetes by 8 percent, while those who consumed their fruit whole lowered their risk of developing type 2 diabetes by 2 percent (1).

The problem is that the process of juicing extracts the nutrients and water from a vegetable or fruit and leaves behind the fibrous pulp. While the act of squeezing out some of the good stuff in fruits and vegetables—antioxidants, vitamins, minerals, etc.—screams healthy elixir, this processing also removes the nutrient-rich skin along with healthy fiber and a substantial amount of vitamins and minerals. There is also one other major caveat: sugar is squeezed out, too.

Depending on what fruits and vegetables are chosen to juice, the sugar content can climb pretty high. Without the fiber to slow down absorption, drinking the juice can send blood sugar levels spiking and crashing, leading to feelings of extreme hunger, irritability, and fatigue. For example, a juice containing three beets, two carrots, two stalks of celery, one cucumber, and one small apple is about 40 grams of sugar—compare that to the 39 grams of sugar in a 12 oz. coke (2;3). These high sugar amounts result in poor blood sugar control and increased risk of chronic disease over time.

What’s not in a juice during a juice fast is another matter. If calories during a juice fast remain low, you’re sure to stimulate fat metabolism. But with that breakdown of fat, there will be release of toxins and your body will need certain nutrients to help properly detoxify. For example, B vitamins and amino acids act as important co-factors for the detoxification process (4;5). Any juice fast lasting more than two days is also sure to lead to muscle breakdown because of lack of protein. Protein is vital for maintaining muscle while calories are being reduced, because any reduced-calorie diet, including juice fasts, can result in weight loss, but without proper protein, muscle will be lost as well (6-9).

In addition, getting adequate fiber – both soluble and insoluble fiber – is needed to help promote regularity, which is vital to overall detoxification goals. Juice fasts lasting a week or longer may actually hinder the elimination of toxins from your body because of lack of fiber.

Looking to obtain the benefits of cleaning up your diet, getting more fruit nutrients, and detoxification without the blood sugar spikes and under-nutrition? Look to Isagenix:
◾IsaFruits and Greens, for example, provide a hefty variety of antioxidants from whole fruits and green plant concentrates without the high amounts of sugar.
◾Cleanse for Life is especially designed to nourish your body (while not spiking your blood sugar), helping you safely lose weight and detoxify when used as part of Cleanse Days on a Cleansing and Fat Burning System.
◾Plus, IsaLean Shakes supply the necessary quality protein needed for helping you hold onto hard-earned muscle as you lose weight and maintain healthy blood sugar control, while also supplying you with needed nutrients and fiber.

The Isagenix system is also backed by clinical research—more healthy weight loss, more healthy fat loss, and twice as much visceral fat loss, while improving cardiovascular health markers in ways better than the leading “heart healthy” diet (see results here) (10). Suffice it to say, that’s an outcome far superior in comparison to what researchers reported for drinking juice in the British Medical Journal.

What to take away? Eating enough whole fruits and vegetables continues to be key, but try to skip the juice and avoid juice fasting. When it comes to choosing a reliable, safe, and convenient way to lose weight and cleanse safely, leave it to Isagenix.

My health and wellness journey

I never know how honest I should be about my weight gain and my journey to get it off. I don’t even know when I really got that fat, or where the weight came from.

I know some of it came from having three kids. I used pregnancy as my excuse to eat whatever I wanted, including WHOLE pies. As a result, I put on more weight than I should have and after giving birth, never really got back down to where I started. That happened with kids #1, 2 AND 3. So I have been battling this excessive weight gain for oh, 25 years now, I guess you could say.

I would lose some, then gain it back, lose some, then gain it back. I was the expert at yo-yo dieting. I did them all. My favorite was Atkins. I lost so much weight and so fast that people were like “what the heck?!” But then I put it all back in + more, my health was not good at all because I was living off cheese, bacon, pork rinds and diet Coke. GROSS. Makes me shudder thinking about what I was feeding my body.

A little over two years ago, I ran in to a friend on the lake and she looked AHHHmazing. I got to talking to her and she shared with me, that she had “switched” stores in a sense and was not buying healthy, non-GMO super foods from this company and in addition to getting healthy on the inside, she was also losing weight. She looked great. It took me a minute to convince my husband, but I finally ordered my first brown box and was on my way to looking great as well. And I was successful. I had people asking me what I was doing and so I shared. You see, this company not only manufactures these amazing super foods, but they also reward you for sharing and referring. I had a few friends order their brown boxes, but they were not as committed to health as I was so they decided it wasn’t for them, and that is fine. The good news is that the company backs their products with a 30 day money back guarantee and so you really have nothing to lose except toxins and unwanted weight.

My first brown box I ended up sharing with my husband because once he was over being mad that I had ordered it, and it had shown up, he was all kinds of curious so I divided it all up in to two and technically we both did a 9 day’ish. I loved every minute of it. The hubs did it, with some complaining but he did it. I continued to order and have been ordering EVERY month ever since. The husband was doing a shake a day and has dropped off and stopped doing that, but that is ok, I have a HUGE support group and know that I can turn to them when I am in need of help, support and/or advice.

I was doing really well with my weight, but I was also doing GREAT with my health. My energy had increased, my sleep was getting better.. I was just feeling better all-around + I was losing weight. Such a win/win.


In July 2015. I had a misfortunate accident during roller derby practice and I shattered my ankle. That set me back a little. I became depressed. I could not do anything for myself and had to rely on other people just to get stuff done. It was horrible. My league-mates were amazing and helped out by bringing us dinners. It was so thoughtful and so helpful and was the only way I was going to get that family fed. It was a lot of home made yummy goodness and believe me when I say I ATE and ATE and ATE. My nutrition went out the window and all I did was eat. It was all I could do. I could not skate, I could not go to the gym, I could not go for walks. I laid in bed with my leg in the air and ate. I stopped drinking my shakes, I stopped all my protein regimen. It was the worst decision I ever made. I was slowly packing on weight because I was eating all that food and not moving.

January 2016 I was released to skate again and wow, I had my work cut out for me. I was out of shape and now I was fat. Great combo. I got back to it, derby and nutrition. It has been several months, but I have finally reached the point where I want it bad enough that I will do whatever it takes to hit my goals. I am seeing the results that I am working towards and even other people are seeing them now too and making comments. It is nice when I am seeing the pounds and inches drop, but it is FKN great when other people are finally seeing them too!

This rant started as a Facebook post and then it got loooooong and I decided to just make it a blog post. I had a purpose for it but I keep rambling on and then walking away and coming back and now I am not sure what my purpose was.

I think what I had wanted to get at is that I was stuck at a certain weight for so long. I would go down a pound or two and then back up, even after cleansing, it was frustrating. But that has all changed. I broke through that weight got down to part of my goal. I went away for the weekend for some derby and KNEW that I was going to come home back to that same stupid weight that I was stuck at. I finally got the nerve to weigh myself and what what, I did come home with a few pounds but was one pound less than my plateau weight. I was happy. Since then, I have dropped a few more pounds and am only a few away from that weight that I was after my last cleanse. I honestly feel that I finally found the recipe that works for me as far as what foods and how much and when. That’s all it is really.

(thought I would throw in  my sales pitch)

With summer right around the corner, I am looking for a few good people who want to join me in getting fit and healthy. This is an organic “food system” that takes a balanced lifestyle approach to better supporting the body’s natural cleansing & replenishing needs. It is NOT a “diet” BUT a sustainable “lifestyle”, NOT a “weight-loss program” BUT a “body composition system” that builds muscle while burning fat, and NOT a “fast or detox program” BUT a “nutritional cleanse” that supports the body’s natural cleansing/replenishing processes with whole-food nutrition. As the world’s first & only “total body, deep cellular nutritional cleansing and replenishing system” it delivers many unique and diverse benefits for EVERY single cell & organ from athletes to non-athletes… It is such a comprehensive system adaptable to ALL ages, genders, body types, activity levels and goals, it is difficult to simplify too much beyond this. However, it is SIMPLY AMAZING and the only way to know how great you’ll feel is to try it for yourself. Get it in your body and see for yourself how INCREDIBLE you can feel and look.